Wednesday, February 26, 2020

My Garden

By Fernanda Cabarcos


My garden now lays dry and barren 
The toll of getting used to life
The home of monsters I’ve been facin
What are we without strife? 

My thoughts race , always searching
For just a bit of light 
The wheel of change keeps turning
New soil finely packed.

I sit and look around me
The landscape once lush green
And know that what’s behind me 
Will fertilize the dream.

I look a little closer 
And see a seed has sprout 
A wave of joy takes over
Fear gone no ounce of doubt.




“The vision that was planted in my brain “ By Nate Lewis IG: natelewisvisuals 

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

SHE DEVIL: AN OPINION PIECE

By Fernanda Cabarcos

Hey girl! Yes you reading this, own it! Ignore the judging voices and the jealous glares, sometimes others look down upon the bravethe brave enough to be themselves, unapologetically living their life to the fullest and chasing their dreams down the yellow brick road of life. People will talk no matter what you do; they got nothing better to do, so why would you hold yourself back from living this human experience to 100% +.  Women throughout history have been marginalized and labeled as “She Devils” for owning their sexuality, for feeling confident in their own skin, for holding down empires and for breaking the misogynistic barriers that try to keep us from achieving success


If you want it go get it, and I mean this in every aspect of your life. But first, let me take it back a few steps, and allow me to feed you some food for thought; how are we expecting to change history if we haven’t changed our mindset? We can try and change the way society treats and views us, we can thin out the wage gap, we can bring justice to all the individuals that tried taking our worth and our bodies in their hands, but we will never truly have significant change unless we flip the switch in our own minds. We often want the outside world to be the guiding factor of change to the world within, but in reality it has to be the other way around. Do me a small favor and stop self-doubting your achievements and your journey, and can we all cool it with the low self-esteem? Our bodies are beautiful fruitful temples of life; I mean we are the muses for the greatest artist ever, the depiction of purity and beauty. No matter what shape, size or color your body is, it’s absolutely unique and magical, and in any case you want to change it then go for it, as long as you do it with love and compassion for the work in progress. Know that yes, your flaws and strengths alike define you but they don’t minimize your worth, they add to your many intricate layers, that’s what being human is about anyways.

You deserve all the love and affection respect and pleasure so please enjoy responsibly; allow yourself to fail, trust sis that’s how you achieve greatness, if you don’t fail you’ll never know what areas to improve, your skin won’t thicken and you won’t be challenged to try new things and methods to your madness. Can we all stop with the guilt!? I’m tired of it, society has thrown yso many expectations on women, it wants us to wear so many different hats while always wearing a smile, our hair has to be done and make up on fleek, the moment we look a little tired or frustrated or angry, the moment we speak our minds you can bet we will be called a bitch; if we know what we want we are bossy, if we don’t then we are just waiting for a man to take care of us. If you have a healthy active sex life you are a hoe, if you choose to wait for the right one and be celibate for a bit then you are a prude. You are a single mom? Then forget it, you didn’t know how to keep a marriage, and how dare you not stay for the children- Huge side note: your children will grow up happy and healthier seeing happy separated parents than live in a miserable battle ground of a “home”. Oh you are a stay at home mom? Then only your husband is the bread winner? Poor guy. Oh you are thinking of joining the work force then? And leave your children at daycare? Poor kids. Oh you don’t want kids? That’s your job as a woman. You don’t want to marry? What’s wrong with you?. I can go on for EVER! I guess all I’m trying to say is FUCK it, enjoy responsibly, feel so sexy in your own skin that Beyonce takes notes, love so deeply and so passionately, travel, study, lounge around in your undies, be free. Be that “She Devil”.


"Fallen Angel" by Danielle Madrigal IG: nellfoxart

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

ODE TO DEATH

By Fernanda Cabarcos 

You smug and silent friend
Your timing never bends.
For when you creep upon the throne
Your will and vision heart of stone;
Our mortal souls could sing and pray 
The final hours, body aches
Our life is yours to take.

I ask you only for one thing
Please wait until my days of spring 
Have passed and winter is at hand
My life be blessed, so rich and grand.
I want to look upon your face
With calm relief as it all ends ;
I close my eyes and feel you touch 
At last my friend you take me home.



Muerte en Primavera “ by Ana María Salazar Cabarcos  IG:Anasalazarcabarcos

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

A THOUGHT ON : MOMENTS AND THEIR INDIVIDUALITY.

By Fernanda Cabarcos



I’ve always been fascinated by life, every single aspect of it. I believe this curiosity comes from the way my mom taught me to see the world ; I remember as a young girl we would go for walks and she would stop, point at a tree and say “look at the leafs , look at the way the sun reflects from them, look how beautifully they move, they have life… they are life “ or just looking at the sky we would ponder and admire its beauty for a few minutes, thankful for having the opportunity to be alive and to be present in those moments. Since then I look at every aspect of life in that detailed somewhat romanticized wayI’m glad I do, even the ugly and the bad, they have a purpose , in their own way beautiful for they always carry a lesson with their burdens. As life went on and I grew up, my fascination for its complexity grew along; particularly the way different people experience the same moment, such unique phenomenon and a testament to our individuality. 



Picture this: let’s say we are at a wedding, the bride, glowing, radiant with joy, after all she’s been planning this moment her entire life .The groom, nervous, cold feet, thinking “I should be backpacking through western Europe right now”. The best man, torn, contemplating whether or not to profess his love for the Bride when the famous “speak now or forever hold your peace” bit comes up, he knows he’ll take better care of her. A brides maid wishing she was somewhere else, anywhere else, this wedding is a reminder of how single she is, a cruel joke from the universe, you see she was the popular one back in High School with the boyfriend in the football team and dates to every dance; this is not how the story should go. The parents of the bride happshe’s moving out and now they can turn the extra room into a meditation oasis; mother of the groom disappointed, her son could have done better, the father is thrilled, he has the hots for Bride’s mom so this means more “family time”. 

Like this I could make examples for every guest at that wedding, which when seen from the outside it’s very two dimensional- a happy day full of celebratory toasts and two people happily without any doubt joining their lives until death or divorce does them apart . But when we observe, when we really look and open up to the idea that the world doesn’t revolve around our individuality, that each person carries with them a world of their own, it is then we can have a better understanding of this thing called life, and I believe it also serves as a lesson on empathy, maybe we won’t judge each other so easily and so harshly because in reality we don’t know what lies behind the two dimensional fronts we build. So next time you are out with friends, having dinner with family, at a park, at work, in the bathroom line at a festival, at a funeral, grabbing some froyo with the bestie, on a date, having a beach day with the gang, at the airport waiting for your connecting flight, or you find yourself at a wedding, please do me a favor an look around, take in each moment and each person surrounding you, admire their unique beauty and the way they interact with one another, think of how that exact moment is vastly different from yours. If not , you don’t know all the worlds you might be missing out on.

Photo by Julia Muñiz  www.gurushots.com/thisisjumuniz 

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE ONE THEY SAY IS COMING




Hey there! 
I’ll skip all formalities since I’ve been told I’ll know you when I see you. If I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure you are out there, and if you are, I’m afraid I might miss you- I’m quite oblivious to this sort of stuff. Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking I’m not meant for this type of love- the Nicholas Sparks type of baring it all, or the Monica/Chandler Bing rom-com duo delight. I’m not fitted for modern romance; I’m a hopeless romantic that tends be too awkward, at times too spontaneous and on my bad days I turn a bit neurotic and bitchy. I say the wrong thing 99% of the time, but I swear I don’t mean it, I have way too much energy for my own good, an obsession with incense, candles,  the 60’s, and I kind of wish I lived inside a Wes Anderson film. You could say I’m the “rough around the edges” type of gal. 

If I haven’t scared you off by now and you are really out there waiting on the side lines for your cue, I’d like to go over a few things before the day comes when we finally find each other: First and foremost, hug me, don’t say a word, don’t hesitate, just hold me as tight as you can while I crumble in your arms like sand castles being embraced by gentle waves. Let me shed my worries and my afflictions; let me sigh with relief as I feel the warmth of your chest pressed against my face. Cast your light on the darkest corners of my being,scaring off whatever lays in the shadows, and with your fire melt the icy walls around my heart. I’m not going to lie to you, some light housekeeping is in order, you see, I have a few skeletons that need dusting, but please don’t be afraid, I’ve become quite fond of them, as weird as that sounds I have come to terms to the fact that they have contributed to who I am today, they are responsible for the “rough around the edges” part.

After those very important steps have been taken care of , I just want you to be you; I want you to know that I will take you just how you are, with all the flaws and quirks, with your passions and your baggage, your fears and dreams - I can take on any ghost you might have lingering ,just FYI .Know that I'm up for any type conversation, no subject is taboo in my book;Count that I will be your biggest cheerleader and devoted fan, I'll support and encourage you and with love, pull you back down to earth when your feet get too high off the ground. I’ll be honest and kind, yet stern and direct if the need be. I will be a shoulder you can cry on and the keeper of the secrets that you entrust me with. If there is any further request I’ll be waiting for your letter. 

Wait... it just occurred to me.

What if I’m the one “that’s coming”?  The sheer thought of it brings me to a halt. Can all those cliché lines  of “love yourself first”, “pour all that love into you” that I’ve heard from friends and self-help articles be true? And if they are true… well I’m sorry but that sucks. No, this is not going to turn into one of those self-realization moments that you as my reader might be expecting , because we all know we need to love ourselves first in order to learn our worth and so on and so forth … But this really  SUCKS! Truth is I want it all. I want the late-night talks, the long walks, the dance sessions in the Kitchen floor, the laughter, thefights, the Netflix and chill, those silent moments that take the air out of the room, the makeup sex, the karaoke car rides to the store, going to bed and waking up next to you, lazy Sunday afternoons, taking turns on the dishes and making dinner. I want the ugly, the sad, the awkward, the fun, the passionate, the simple, I want the moments that we both know only come once in a life time…Is that too much to ask for?

Anyway, if you’ve made it this far and put up with my rant, thank you. I’ll be waiting. Oh and please, please, please, remember the oblivious part, I don’t want to miss you and I might not know it’s you but … now you know what to do.

Yours truly
The one that’s coming


P.S
Bring Wine



"Wane" by Vanessa Palomares  IG: lunaj.s 




My Garden

By Fernanda Cabarcos My garden   now lays  dry and barren  The toll of getting used to life The home of monsters I’ve been  facin ’ ...